I really have been lying to myself. More than I’d like to. But I bet you do it too. Take that last blog post of mine from a couple of weeks ago. It really must’ve been the chardonnay whispering because that little slow down before breaking down that I went on and on about… Yeah, it didn’t last very long. Oh, the gratitude crap did for a bit, but the oxygen mask? I took that off right quick.

But I tried. I really tried. Last week I was smart enough to sign myself up for Stitch Camp which consisted of five days of self-paced and very short videos by Gwen Hedley. I have to say – and I am not lying to myself here – I  started out well. Sunday I pulled out the paints, the fabrics, the various threads/yarns, the needles, all kinds of implements and textile substrates. On Monday I made my marks. Not sure how much I liked them, but then how often do we question our own artwork in the throes of creation? Onward ho! Tuesday, I cut the painted fabric into pieces. Come Wednesday – despite four online events, meetings, appointments – I sewed some of them together. I had momentum, a big stone rolling down a hill. I was making time for myself.

And then Thursday happened. I remember that I went out for a haircut. Where the rest of that day went, I have no idea. No worries, I told myself. There’s Friday and a weekend. Friday I watched the videos for Thursday and Friday. And then…nothing. The piece that I began last week sits draped over a dining room chair eying me with reproach. I tell it we’ll be together in a week or so. I hope that I’m not lying to it. And to myself.

Why am I lying to myself?

Like many of us, it’s because we just get too busy with all the things and people that make up our lives and relationships. I suppose that I’m grateful for that busy life; it’s certainly better than being bored and not having enough to keep me engaged. And I have great friends and family and projects.

Unfortunately, the Stitch Camp piece is destined to wait for another week or two because:

• Tomorrow I have an online class about how to better serve on a nonprofit board. That’s two hours I’m happy to give to Susan’s Legacy where I’ve been a board member for three or four years. Women’s mental health will always be important to me, and we all know someone who could’ve used what SL provides.
• Saturday I’ll attend an online Guild Development Retreat put on my the Handweavers Guild of America. No, I don’t weave, but it’s all about the betterment of all kinds of textile guilds. “Through panels and discussions, we hope to strengthen guild leadership, unite organizations, and provide a platform for the sharing of ideas. We want participants to end the day feeling motivated in their effort to build and grow their guilds so that all guilds can thrive.” The Adobe Wool Arts Guild (AWAG) here in Albuquerque is a fine guild, but we have our issues too. As president of AWAG, I feel this is an imperative. Two other members think the same and will “go” with me.

  

• Sunday we kick off In the Studio’s Workshop Week 4! My Build a Baby Boucherouite class is the first to roll followed by our panel discussion led by Susan Feller and three of the teachers: “What inspires you to be creative when in the doldrums?” Lord knows we’ve all been in the doldrums! There are a few workshop openings if you’re interested. Me, I’m adding to my workload creativity toolbox and taking Jane’s watercolor class. Because I don’t have enough to do. (As I type I’m also making a chicken soup.)
• And because we never have enough to do, I’m trying to finalize AWAG’s plans to have Donna Hrkman here for a second visit in late February. We’re praying that Covid doesn’t waylay those plans a second time. Damn, I need to come up with a project for that too!

So all those nice sentiments I expressed last post? I guess that I prefer to think that I was hopeful rather than lying to myself. There are always going to be crazy days and weeks in our lives. It seems that this January is one of mine.

And I remember now! Thursday went to buying a new mattress to deal with my lower back problem. That took a few hours. To all those who have kindly expressed concern, I’m on the mend…slowly. With steps forward and then again backward but then again forward. The new mattress is a help. We even got one of those frames that lets you raise your head and feet. Very cool. I will never live without that again, I promise you (no lying!).

Life really is good. Tom and I celebrated 29 years married Sunday. Of course, there is always Tynan and Bowyn. And they have made all the difference.